ive been fortunate enough to experience the joys of owning my very own toilet fog machine and id like to share with you the steps i took so that you too can turn a boring toilet into an exciting foggy instrument of happiness.

• step 1: remove any plumbing connected to your toilet.
• step 2: create a big opening in the bottom of the bowl and dig a deep hole in the ground that leads from the toilet down to the depths of hades.
• step 3: do not heat your house during the winter so that it can become icy cold in all of your rooms including, and most importantly, your bathroom.
• step 4: drink liquids.
• step 5: when the urge arises, pee into your bottomless toilet.
• step 6: enjoy foggy goodness.

scientists are still debating the exact steps that occur on a molecular level during this complicated process. im no urologist specializing in urological compound transformation (at least not anymore), but it seems to me that when hot piss falls down a bottomless icy toilet hole it almost instantaneously results in a tremendous amount of steam which then rises back up said hole. thus, turning a common everyday toilet into a delightful and exciting fog machine.