what the fuck am i doing here? being out of my small town and away from my JET life for just a short week during the holidays has made me quite reflective and contemplative. yes, i like crazy ideas. yes, i like challenges. yes, it appears i like to torture myself. but what the fuck am i really trying to do with my new/temporary life in japan? ive been answering this question with humor and sarcasm to all of my good friends and family in vegas, but for the sake of my own personal sanity, i feel like its important to remember the real reasons why i threw away so much to live in a glorified outhouse and teach english in the Middle of Nowhere, Japan.

long before i moved here, i had three goals to shoot for. and after some reevaluation, im still holding true to these goals.

  • 1. learn japanese
  • 2. learn to deal with kids
  • 3. explore
honestly, i feel like ive been making some real progress towards these goals. ive been noticing that i dont hate 100% of children anymore (its possibly down to as low as 99%). and ive spent every weekend except two traveling around and adventuring. though i have progressed a bit with my japanese skills, i am still a little ashamed that im not as far along as i had thought id be by now. i could blame it on the fact that there arent any japanese classes offered within a few hours of me. i could blame it on the fact that i honestly dont enjoy hanging out with old people because we have absolutely nothing in common. but im worried that the real reason is that learning this language is more difficult for me than other people. but no matter the excuse, i still have 6.5 months to work on it.

these were the three reasons why i left my past life. and it took a week of vegas to remind me these are still, in fact, the reasons that keep me here.
xmas eve in japan is for couples, dates, and romance. if you are single in japan, you better have a date lined up for the evening or youre going to feel mighty lonely (good thing im not in japan this xmas eve cause id be feeling hella lonely for sure).

another common xmas tradition in japan is to eat xmas cake. shops all over the country sell special little cakes specifically made to be eaten during the xmas holidays.


kfc is the most jaw-dropping phenomenon in japan. some japanese people phone in reservations to kfc weeks in advance to make sure they can have fried chicken for xmas. and for the unfortunate ones who didnt reserve a dinner beforehand, ive heard stories of people waiting in line for hours just to order their xmas dinner. i suppose many americans eat turkey for xmas - which isnt so different from chicken - but i dont know anyone in america who orders fast food weeks in advance for their holiday meal.

  • octopus pancakes (お好み焼き "okonomiyaki") - ingredients can include octopus, cabbage, pancake batter, fish flakes, and mayonnaise; osaka makes the best, but ive made my own and i must say it was quite awesome as well
  • fish sausages - literally a sausage-like tube filled with fish parts; one of these was oddly given to me as a present from one of my teachers; a gross fact is that it doesnt need to be refrigerated
  • seaweed and chili pepper tea (唐辛子茶 "tougarashicha") - delicious! most japanese people ive talked to dont like it because its too spicy, but ive met a couple who enjoy it as much as i do
  • nattou (納豆) - fermented soy beans; slimy, smelly, and gross
  • tempura (fried) ginger - large thin slice of ginger dipped in light batter and fried; hands-down the tastiest tempura vegetable ive eaten so far
  • squid-flavored crackers - fishy and salty crackers are not high up on my list of favorite things
  • soy sauce flavored potato chips - took a little getting used to but theyre actually pretty good
  • shrimp-flavored potato chips - salty and shrimpy; not a fan at all
  • whale meat school lunch (鯨肉の給食 "kujira niku no kyuushoku") - my schools dont serve whale meat, but i heard that many in wakayama (the prefecture next to mine) do; i actually havent tried eating whale meat yet
  • fish flakes used as a common seasoning (鰹節 "katsuobushi") - bonito flakes rightfully belong on many things from noodles to octopus balls
  • octopus balls (たこ焼き "takoyaki") - an osaka (大阪) specialty, these things are amazing; pieces of octopus in the center of a doughy ball usually topped with mayonnaise, fish flakes, and sometimes shredded ginger
  • tea made from the leftover water from boiling soba noodles (そば茶 "sobacha") - one of the things nagano (長野) is known for; tastes very similar to mugicha (麦茶), or barley tea, this goes great with cold homemade soba noodles
  • beef-flavored potato chips - i did not even try these; the smell was atrocious
  • squid jerky - chewy and salty; not as good as it sounds
  • cheese-flavored kit kat - smells awful but tastes pretty good; tastes a lot like chocolate cheesecake
  • cabbage and grape juice - for as weird as it sounds to enjoy drinking cabbage juice, the slight grape flavor made it quite tasty
  • soy sauce and cheese flavored crackers - odd combination but satisfying nonetheless
    an xmas tree in japan
    last weekend i traveled up to osaka (大阪), again, to hang out with some good friends from boston. i think its such a strange coincidence that so many of us boston kids live so close to each other here in japan - but i sure am thankful for it. friday night we partied in kobe (神戸) and ran into lots of overly-friendly ridiculously-drunk japanese businessmen. it was hilarious but uncomfortable for both me and the ladies. so uncomfortably hilarious..

    saturday we ate a homemade breakfast (thanks gabby!) and hung out. we even drank some starbucks, which is a rare treat for me these days seeing as how the closest one to me is more than two hours away. when the sun went down we walked to the umeda sky building (梅田スカイビル) in osaka to see this years german xmas festival. yes, i know it sounds pretty random, but apparently theres a significant german population in osaka.
    two saint nicks
    actually used as a cookie-baking kitchen
    a scandinavian and a german troll
    the world changed before our eyes as we entered the festival: multi-colored xmas lights adorned the buildings; the smell of mulled wine teased our noses (and for 900 yen it teased our bellies too); food stands selling hot dogs and german sausages (which i was told were quite tasty) lined our path; and in the center of the whole thing stood a huge xmas tree covered in lights blinking in time to the xmas music playing in the background.




    im not usually into xmasy things, but it actually felt good participating in a few familiar traditions after living away in a foreign country for so long.

    at the top of the umeda sky building (梅田スカイビル)
    this is the second installment of a multi-part post describing a typical weekday for me in japan. you can read the first part here.

    one interesting difference between american and japanese schools is who owns the classrooms. in america, i would have my own english classroom: kujira's english class. when kids have to learn english, they would come to my room to learn. but here in japan, the kids own the classrooms. i go to them to teach english.

    __teaching lessons (and punk rock shows)__
    i think this classroom ownership difference adds to my constant feeling that each lesson is a performance. teaching english in japan reminds me a lot of playing punk rock shows back in vegas. before each of them, i have to prepare and rehearse what im going to do. lessons plans are the new set lists. i start both activities by walking out in front of a bunch of people who all stare at me, some of whom dont even want me there and cant wait for me to leave. drunk hecklers have been replaced with class clowns. i spend my time trying to read the audience, changing pace if i think im going too fast or too slow. if i see that some of them are getting bored, i try to entertain them better by interacting with them more and maybe adding some funny stories in between the activities/songs. after a particularly good lesson/show/performance, the younger kids sometimes run up to me screaming "kujira sensei" and hug me until i leave the classroom. first graders are the new groupies.

    all of my classes are either 45 or 50 minutes long with 10 minute breaks in between. i spend my ten minute breaks between classes sipping on hot green tea, texting nonsensical things to my best friend in vegas, playing chess (or should i say totally kicking ass at chess) against some folk in america on my iphone, and preparing for my next lesson.

    __school lunch (給食)__
    給食, or school lunch, is a completely different experience in japan. here, the kids eat in their classrooms at their desks. a couple of chosen kids from each class don over-sized aprons, hair nets, and gloves, and bring big buckets of food from the kitchen to their classroom. everyone in the class then grabs a tray and gets in line to get their food. instead of the food being distributed by large scary-looking lunch ladies with mustaches who are missing teeth and hate children, in japan kids serve kids: theres a rice kid who puts rice into everyones rice bowl; theres a milk kid who hands out cartons of locally produced milk to everyone; and there are usually some vegetable dishes that have random fish or meat parts mixed in which are served by yet another kid or two. in japan, it is important that every student gets the same exact portions of the the same exact dishes. and you know what else blows my mind? no one starts eating until everyone has received their food. try imaging 30 american kids patiently and politely waiting for all of their classmates to have their food before they start eating. yeah, you couldnt do it either, huh? afterwards, kids cant go play outside until they completely finish their meal, clean off their plates, bowls, and chopsticks, and brush their teeth.

    unfortunately ive only eaten a handful of school lunches with my students because (a) im usually not hungry, and (b) i have to eat the exact same things the kids eat which usually contains meat of some variety. instead, i usually spend my lunch time eating an apple or banana in the teachers room.

    __free time at school__
    while im at school, i spend much of my free time studying or least trying to study japanese. if im lucky enough to get a free period that day, ill use that time to crack open my japanese textbooks and practice reading, writing, and conjugating words. i also get some time after school gets out, but before im allowed to leave, to study as well. even though the teachers who actually talk to me say that my japanese is getting better every day, i am continually frustrated by my ridiculously slow progress with this language. since i spend most of my day teaching, my speaking skills have improved dramatically. unfortunately though, my listening skills are still worse than terrible. ive been told this is the exact opposite situation for most other language learners; usually one can listen and understand things long before they feel comfortable expressing it themselves. personally, id rather have my situation reversed because i hate understanding only .00001% of the things that are said to me.