about a week and a half ago, my supervisor told me in very broken english that i was to give a televised speech that will be broadcast and re-broadcast many times over on my town's local cable station. yikes. he also mentioned that i only had a week to prepare. double yikes. but then he dropped the bomb.. it should be in japanese! a million yikes.

i went home and spent several nights writing, fixing, and practicing my japanese speech. i even asked some of my multi-lingual friends to help with some of the translations (thanks again for your help, guys!). honestly, i was actually starting to get excited about rising to the challenge of giving a 5 minute speech in japanese after only living here for 3 months. but as luck as would have it, two days before the speech, i was told that i needed to change my speech. first, i needed to make it longer. and secondly, i had to deliver it in english instead. wait.. what the fuck? changing the language on me right before the speech?! not cool.

on the day of my televised speech, the camera crew came to one of my elementary schools and video taped me teaching one of my 5th grade classes. suffice to say, that was hella nerve-racking in its own right. but it wasnt over yet! after i taught the rest of my classes for the day, i got escorted to the camera room for my big speech. except, once we got there, the camera man told me that it wasnt going to a speech at all - it was going to be an interview instead. what? why? fml.

so after preparing a 5 minute japanese speech, then re-writing it in english, then lengthening it, i was told to disregard all of that effort and just give an impromptu interview instead. ugh. ok, you win, japan. i give up. i will stop trying to understand or predict what you expect of me. you win.